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Brianna's Poppy Seed Dressing

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THE BEST LUNCH EVER!!
Try it for yourself.

The Biggest Loser

Eric and I started watching the new season of The Biggest Loser last year. While watching those contestants I was thinking, "Wow, they are big! I would never let myself get like that." And then I realized, as a few of them were weighing in, that I basically was like that. I wouldn't call it denial, because I probably told myself everyday that I needed to lose weight. I guess I was just lazy.

I never had a weight problem growing up. I was a size 2/4 in high school. It wasn't until I got pregnant with Hayden that I put on massive amounts of weight. I worked a lot, and I had breakfast, lunch and dinner at various Fast Food restaurants. The weight came off pretty fast when I started eating right and exercising, but I never got back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Then, I had Maya and put on more weight. (I am going to be very candid here, because this is MY blog, right?) I can't deny that my parent's divorce was hard on me emotionally. Since I am an emotional eater, I would comfort myself with food. It was a vicious cycle. I would feel sad, so I would eat, then I would feel guilty for eating so I would eat more; then I would feel fat so I'd eat even more.

In July of last year we had a family vacation planned with Eric's whole family. It was going to be so fun. We planned to see where they grew up, and meet some old friends. I totally didn't want to go. I weighed the same as I did when I was 9 months pregnant with Maya! I did go, but felt so uncomfortable the whole time. I have gorgeous, skinny sister in laws and mother in law. I was out of place for sure. When I got home from that trip, I weighed 190 pounds. You would think that the pictures from the trip and everything would be enough to make me want to change, but no. I ran into people that I went to high school with and they didn't even recognize me. When I started finding friends in the blogging world, I wondered why they all looked exactly the same as they did in high school and I was unrecognizable.

It wasn't until around Hayden's birthday in September that I realized my life was not what I wanted it to be. We went to Regional Conference at the Conference Center in Salt Lake. President Hinckley spoke directly to the women and said, "Stop complaining about things that are bothering you in your life and change them!" I could blame pregnancy or my parent's divorce for my weight gain, but the truth was it was my fault. I had to take responsibility for what I had done to my body. I stopped complaining about my weight and I started changing it.

This has probably been the absolute hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I am used to putting my kids and husband before me, and losing weight required me to do the opposite. To put myself before them. I started getting up at 5:15 every morning and exercising. I changed my eating habits. It seemed like people noticed right away that there was a change in me. Whether it was weight loss or a countenance change, I don't know. I have had the greatest support system in my ward and with my family. My mother in law especially, is always complimenting my progress. It means a lot to hear those things when I have been working so hard. She is a big part of the reason that I have had success losing weight. My husband has also been very supportive and has changed his eating as well. We go to the gym together almost everyday. It has been nice to have someone to keep me accountable. It has helped us be united in other aspects of our life. We are different people now.

I now weigh less than I did before I got pregnant with Maya. That is a HUGE milestone for me. Almost 40 pounds of weight gone! I am not at my goal, but I am close. I can run 2.5 miles straight, I can bench press 70+ pounds with out a spotter, and I can fit in jeans I never thought I'd wear again. I have never been able to run or lift weight. Even when I was a size 2. This weight loss has made me a better mom and wife. I am happy when I wake up in the morning. I am more patient with them because I no longer am frustrated with myself. I can keep up with my kids! I really feel like I can do anything now. I have overcome this huge battle, and I have confidence and self esteem now that I didn't have before. This new Brandi is way better than the old one!
(The most recent pictures of me are the ones below with the chicks. I'll have to have Eric take one of me so you can see before and after!)